Strengthening Board relationships in times of uncertainty
This is a transcript adapted from a talk which Phil Guthrie gave for the NCVO’s Trustee week.
We have all faced uncertain times since the pandemic, but uncertainty comes in lots of different forms, from macro external events to more personal situations. And it means different things to different people. The Oxford English dictionary interestingly defines it as:
“Uncertainty: the state or character of being uncertain in mind; a state of doubt; want of assurance or confidence; hesitation, irresolution”
Two things in this definition caught my attention:
1. the wants of assurance and confidence it describes, and
2. that it’s a “state of being.”
Not all uncertainty is bad, and in a small organisation some uncertainty is inevitable! However, in our experience, some kinds of internal or organisational uncertainty lead to conflict.
Again, not all conflict is bad! Differences of opinion, robust conversation and debate are good (actually vital) when managed well. For an organisation to thrive, it needs this kind of healthy conflict.
But I’m talking here about the other kind of conflict – the more entrenched, intractable, destructive kind. At Crux, we’ve observed three recurring kinds of uncertainty that tend to lead to issues in passion-driven organisations:
It’s very, very normal to find these uncertainties hard. Our natural responses can often be to act defensively, or panic, or to focus inwardly and be less prone to thinking of others or as a team. We can close in and get spiky. In the charity sector, this can feel especially hard because everybody starts out with the best, most generous intentions.
We once worked with a group of trustees, all with heart and passion for the cause they were trying to approach. But they hadn’t had a conversation to share their own personal visions, or had a discussion about strategy, execution or even about what they could bring to the situation. They weren’t clear with each other, and they were therefore (passionately) pulling in different directions despite, at the heart of it, wanting the same thing.
So that is some of the problem – but what can we do about it? Here are five practises which will strengthen any Board – even if your level of uncertainty is currently mild.
Learning to listen...
I know I know – I hear you all say, “I know how to listen!” We often think we know, but when were you ever taught how to really listen? It isn’t something we are taught in school. And for those who have been taught, it’s hard to do in tense or high-stakes situations, or when there is looming uncertainty for you.
Listening is a habit or a muscle. I am always finding something more I can learn about listening.
We often use the image of an iceberg. 90% of an iceberg is invisible, under the surface. We only see the 10% above the waterline.
Consider for a moment that each of us, as a person, is an iceberg. The words and behaviour we show are the 10%, just what’s on the surface. But beneath the water, there are feelings and emotions. And beneath that there are needs driving those emotions. The needs might be like those ones we saw in the definition of uncertainty – a need for reassurance, confidence and trust.
If we really listen, we might hear the information we need to throw new light on a situation – the clues and understanding of what might be going on for those who are speaking. And if others feel like we are actually listening, and they are being heard, then maybe conversations can move forward or become a little less tense.
Listening is a key tool to try and understand our icebergs and those of the people around us and it goes hand in hand with being curious.
Being curious
We each have an iceberg. It’s about learning to listen to ourselves and what we are feeling and needing, while also about being curious about others – trying to dive under the surface and think what they might be feeling or needing, (which might be why they are speaking or behaving in a particular way).
If we only focus on the words and behaviour we see and hear, we end up throwing stones at each other, but if we get curious about why someone might be acting or saying something, then we might be able to address or talk to those underlying feelings and needs. We may even discover that we have them in common, which is part of how we can grow empathy.
Now that is a rapid intro to non-violent communication, a concept developed by psychologist Marshall Rosenberg. If you are interested in finding out more, check out our podcast on episode on non-violent communication.
Reflecting back
Another tool for learning to listen is reflecting back. It’s a key tool which can help break the loops of discussions and deadlocks in heated discussion, whilst also combating uncertainty, by letting others know they have been heard. Reflecting back is as simple as it sounds: it’s repeating back what you have heard so that a person knows that you have heard them. You can then start to understand and guess at what they might be feeling. But reflecting back will give clarity to everyone of what has been understood.
For example:
Creating a safe space
Another element which can reduce the impact of uncertainty is creating a safe space.
This might look like:
Setting boundaries
Lastly, there is setting boundaries – having a discussion about both individual boundaries and boundaries as a group. You might want to speak together about things like:
Something I always feel on a trustee board on which I sit, how much we are valued, which we have built through our culture.
Which is in contrast to the first trustee board I was involved in where I was brought in as a ‘younger’ person but wasn’t given a clear role – I was pretty time poor at that point and never had the time to read the masses of emails and reports – no one really asked for my opinion, despite working professionally in the field.Sso in that uncertainty I became disengaged and felt undervalued.
Learning from these situations, at Crux, we have developed a “no resentment” policy on our board: as soon as someone feels resentful we want to have a conversation about it. As soon as someone feels something is over a line or a boundary they have, we want them to name that elephant, talk about it and course-correct together.
So that’s enough for today. I’m passionate about this and there’s a lot more I could say, but I hope this has triggered some thoughts and started you thinking about what the boards you’re involved with might need.
In summary...
So that’s enough for today. I’m passionate about this and there’s a lot more I could say, but I hope this has triggered some thoughts and started you thinking about what the boards you’re involved with might need.
In summary, every Board will need to navigate uncertainties of different kinds, but there are key, simple skills which can help you work together rather than against each other through it: :
